Thank you ONCE AGAIN for prayers and encouragement! It is so hard to put into words what it is like to sit down in the morning and hear from you. I just wept this morning over how wonderful it was to hear your words! It truly is water to our soul!! You have spoken truth, you have spoken His Word, and we are so encouraged.
Let me just share a few things about this little girl:
*She has a smile that makes you want to smile back.
*She likes to sing. We have not heard it a lot, but she has quietly sung while on the bus to and from places. Yesterday, when we were at Walmart she darted for the children's DVD/CD section and grabbed this little DVD. It is much like a Chinese Teletubbies. It teaches English like Dora teaches Spanish. Anyway, she LOVES it and we feel that it is comforting to her.
*She is strong! You can see that so much courage has been required of her little life. I can see in her eyes this desire to be cared for, but feeling that she can only depend on herself. I am amazed that she allows me to help her as much as she does. She seems to really like it when I get her dressed and put lotion on her.
*She likes to pick up and make sure everything is in its place. She can fold clothing and blankets very well. She straightens Libi's crib for her. She puts things away when she is done with them. I hope that I do not allow her to get lazy in this area. She can teach the boys a thing or two!
*She desires to please. This morning she found some candy in her backpack. She began to eat it and we had to explain to her that she needed to wait. It really hurt her. I think she thought we were upset with her. She pulled into herself for awhile. We made sure that candy came back out at the appropriate time. She does like her candy!
*She is scared to receive love. When she initiates it is okay. When initiated by others she seems to get "silly". She will act babyish and give a fake giggle. There is just this guard up and you can tell she is not being herself.
*She has a stubborn side to her. :) This morning Brad had a moment while we were out that he could not hold her hand and she WOULD NOT take mine. She was pulling and smacking my hand away and she began to cry. It is hard to know what to do in the moment. I simply wanted her to know that if Baba cannot hold her hand she needs to be willing to hold mine and I will keep her safe. We needed our guide to step in and do some translating. She would not make eye contact, but the lip was out and she had her heels dug in! She understood and I just backed away and gave her space with her Baba this morning.
*She is very good with her little sister, very nurturing. Last night Libi was playing on the floor and getting into her things. She simply moved to the bed with her things and went back to Libi and gave her something to play with.
*She likes to be silly with Joel and Jack. They are very helpful in tiring her out! They are learning how to let her know when they have had enough, because I think she would go ALL day if they let her. She is still trying to win Jacob over. She will walk past him and touch his feet or handit's pretty cute. (I am SO proud of my boys! They are doing so well. This is a huge adjustment for Brad and I being grown ups, and they are doing great! Also there is NO WAY we could do this without grandma!!! )
Last night Haddie slept soundly as usual. About 5AM she reached out and called "Mama". I grabbed her and she just melted into me. She laid with me for an hour and half. At times it seemed that she could not get close enough. At one point while she was asleep she was softly crying. I cannot tell you how broken I am for her hurt, yet so excited to see the Lord do His healing work in her.
I was very excepted in the room this AM. I was beckoned many times. I saw her letting that guard down, but again, this is mostly just in the room that we see this. It is not that she doesn't like to go out. She gets very excited, gets her coat and heads for the door. It just seems to overwhelm her when we go out.
The area where her palette has been repaired seems really red and irritated. I have put hydrocortisone on it, but it is not helping. Any suggestions?
It seems that she has had very poor nutrition as well. When you touch her you cannot feel muscle. She is very thin! She is eating well for us. She still will only use silverware, even when we use chopsticks. She has very good table manners. She struggles with the "bendy" straws, but again we see how she has figured out how to cope.
I don't think I have commented on how tall she is. I brought size 6 for her, but think she will do well in 7's. She enjoys picking out her new clothes each day. She likes "bling" and anything "girly".
What about us???? Well, I think you can all gather that it is not going how we thought it would, but does it ever? I don't think you can fully prepare. Brad and I are just taking it moment by moment, and praying that God will bind us ALL together. I think we just ache for what she must be feeling right now. We don't want to "force" anything on her, but we want her to grow in security with us as her family.
Again, I thank you for praying.
We are filled with HOPE for we know He is the God of all HOPE!