Sunday, December 13, 2009
You're Gonna Love Me
So you know the song "you're gonna love me"???? Trying to post it to the blog we'll see. It has been going through my head all day! : What a change in my relationship with little Miss Haddie. FIRST ALL GLORY TO GOD THE FATHER!!!!! He has given wisdom and understanding and we are blessed. A day and a half ago I threw up my hands and told the Lord that HE would be the ONE to bind us together. I said to Brad, "Not by my might, not by my power, but by HIS Spirit" would Little Miss bond with her mama.
Thank you, my sweet friend Irene, for your words were used of God. It is crazy how your emotions can get the best of you. I feel like everything I have read, heard and known about bonding and attachment has been wiped out of my brain. Brad and I got some determination yesterday. We decided that she needed me, whether she knew it or not. It is important for her to bond with mama first.
Yesterday I took her out. I had seen these little mama dolls with Asian babes on their backs and I knew she would love it! She picked one out. The service clerk knew this was a moment he could take advantage of and stepped over to Haddie with a pretty dress. I was NOT happy. I walked out of there with 3 things only intending to get the doll but what is a desperate mama to do???!! Our next stop was ice cream. We sat at a bench and shared it. I Iong to ask her how she's feeling and understand. I know the day will come, so for now I was happy to run my fingers through her hair and pat her leg communicating what I could through my touch and my eyes. Daddy hung in the shadows all night and even left a couple of times and she did not protest.
Today she has not even questioned that she will walk with mama and holds my hand. Brad and grandma have shifted their full focus to Libi. I have done everything with and for her. We had a lot of fun this morning with beads and princesses. She talks to me and I cannot understand, but pretend that I do. We have a radio in the bathroom that has become "our thing". We go in there and dance. She thinks it is very funny when I try to sing the Chinese songs! I really hope they are appropriate! Basically, she thinks I am crazy, but I think she likes it.
Forgive me if I repeat anything that has already been posted. Brad and I have been tag teaming with the posts. On Thursday Haddie did break down and grieve. She cried from the depths of her little heart. As I held herthat's right....I was holding her for that oneshe just melted into my arms. Brad and I were overwhelmed for her broken heart. We knew she was so full of fear. When we moved out of that awful couple of hours you could see a difference in her countenance. Her spirit was lighter, for sure. We are so thankful that the Lord moved in her to release that emotion. We know that is SO good for her.
New Haddie observations:
She likes to sit with her legs crossed. So ADORABLE!
She still napsso WONDERFUL! We think she sleeps a lot. That may be due to 2 thingsgrief and poor nutrition. She sleeps 9-10 hours at night and napping at least 2 hours in the day.
She is desperately trying to figure out if the boys love and accept her especially the "big guy"
She likes to eat her chips first. It takes her a long time to eat. She washes a lot of food down with her drink. It is quite a process.
She still loves that backpack!
She is beautiful!
She enjoys posing for pictures; maybe because she knows she is beautiful! :
The boys have felt a bit under the weather. Joel ran a fever this morning, but we started antibiotics and he seems to be feeling better this afternoon. Libi and Haddie have little colds, but Libi is still on the antibiotics and I feel like she is doing well. I am thankful that the Lord has blessed us with good health and strength. SO THANKFUL!
Tomorrow we will get Haddie's TB test read. It looks like it is positive to me; although I am not convinced that it was administered correctly. We know that she had one at the orphanage before we came and it was a negative result. Keep this as a matter of prayer.
Guangzhou is sunny and about 75 degrees! It is lovely, besides the construction dust EVERYWHERE! It is nice to be able to get out. I think that helps the boys a lot!! It is so FULL of adoptive families!!! Almost all of the children special needs and MANY families who have more than one adopted child from China. We are so full of rejoicing over each of these children who no longer orphaned!!!! Eating breakfast in this huge room in the White Swan hotel is quite a site to take in. You would cry if you could see it.
Blessings and love to all of you!