Sunday, December 13, 2009

You're Gonna Love Me

So you know the song "you're gonna love me"???? Trying to post it to the blog we'll see. It has been going through my head all day! : What a change in my relationship with little Miss Haddie. FIRST ALL GLORY TO GOD THE FATHER!!!!! He has given wisdom and understanding and we are blessed. A day and a half ago I threw up my hands and told the Lord that HE would be the ONE to bind us together. I said to Brad, "Not by my might, not by my power, but by HIS Spirit" would Little Miss bond with her mama.

Thank you, my sweet friend Irene, for your words were used of God. It is crazy how your emotions can get the best of you. I feel like everything I have read, heard and known about bonding and attachment has been wiped out of my brain. Brad and I got some determination yesterday. We decided that she needed me, whether she knew it or not. It is important for her to bond with mama first.

Yesterday I took her out. I had seen these little mama dolls with Asian babes on their backs and I knew she would love it! She picked one out. The service clerk knew this was a moment he could take advantage of and stepped over to Haddie with a pretty dress. I was NOT happy. I walked out of there with 3 things only intending to get the doll but what is a desperate mama to do???!! Our next stop was ice cream. We sat at a bench and shared it. I Iong to ask her how she's feeling and understand. I know the day will come, so for now I was happy to run my fingers through her hair and pat her leg communicating what I could through my touch and my eyes. Daddy hung in the shadows all night and even left a couple of times and she did not protest.

Today she has not even questioned that she will walk with mama and holds my hand. Brad and grandma have shifted their full focus to Libi. I have done everything with and for her. We had a lot of fun this morning with beads and princesses. She talks to me and I cannot understand, but pretend that I do. We have a radio in the bathroom that has become "our thing". We go in there and dance. She thinks it is very funny when I try to sing the Chinese songs! I really hope they are appropriate! Basically, she thinks I am crazy, but I think she likes it.

Forgive me if I repeat anything that has already been posted. Brad and I have been tag teaming with the posts. On Thursday Haddie did break down and grieve. She cried from the depths of her little heart. As I held herthat's right....I was holding her for that oneshe just melted into my arms. Brad and I were overwhelmed for her broken heart. We knew she was so full of fear. When we moved out of that awful couple of hours you could see a difference in her countenance. Her spirit was lighter, for sure. We are so thankful that the Lord moved in her to release that emotion. We know that is SO good for her.
New Haddie observations:
She likes to sit with her legs crossed. So ADORABLE!
She still napsso WONDERFUL! We think she sleeps a lot. That may be due to 2 thingsgrief and poor nutrition. She sleeps 9-10 hours at night and napping at least 2 hours in the day.

She is desperately trying to figure out if the boys love and accept her especially the "big guy"

She likes to eat her chips first. It takes her a long time to eat. She washes a lot of food down with her drink. It is quite a process.

She still loves that backpack!

She is beautiful!

She enjoys posing for pictures; maybe because she knows she is beautiful! :
The boys have felt a bit under the weather. Joel ran a fever this morning, but we started antibiotics and he seems to be feeling better this afternoon. Libi and Haddie have little colds, but Libi is still on the antibiotics and I feel like she is doing well. I am thankful that the Lord has blessed us with good health and strength. SO THANKFUL!

Tomorrow we will get Haddie's TB test read. It looks like it is positive to me; although I am not convinced that it was administered correctly. We know that she had one at the orphanage before we came and it was a negative result. Keep this as a matter of prayer.

Guangzhou is sunny and about 75 degrees! It is lovely, besides the construction dust EVERYWHERE! It is nice to be able to get out. I think that helps the boys a lot!! It is so FULL of adoptive families!!! Almost all of the children special needs and MANY families who have more than one adopted child from China. We are so full of rejoicing over each of these children who no longer orphaned!!!! Eating breakfast in this huge room in the White Swan hotel is quite a site to take in. You would cry if you could see it.

Blessings and love to all of you!


  1. Oh Amy, Glory be to God! He provides exactly what we need when we need it. Praising that Haddie is feeling more comfortable. I remember when Eli went through the grieving. It is so heart wrenching, but the Lord uses it for good. Her smile is so beautiful and I love the pictures of her and Libi together. Sisters forever! Praying for all of you and especially her TB test to be negative. Do you like the White Swan? Hugs~ Kari, Scott and Eli

  2. Oh pure Joy!! God is so Faithful!! He is providing exactly what you all need. It's so sweet to see sisters together and in matching outfits. Amy, did you take Jesus Calling with you? I hope you did and have had a chance to read it each day. It's all about God working on our behalf and us trusting in the unseen. His Presence is with you every step of this journey. You do not need to fear because He is your Guide. When we are in the dark places, we are able to see the Radiance of His face.

    Ps. 33:20-22 "We wait in hope for the Lord. He is our Help and Shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

    I can't wait to meet Haddie and see you with your daughter. This is only the beginning.

    I love to you so much.


  3. i have been reading your story (linked from Sarah Beths blog) and I so love your pictures. The matching sister outfits are adorable. Haddie & Libi are both beautiful little girls. Have fun with your girls and I pray the relationships continue to build and flourish. And...I cried when I saw Libi crawling on her blog...Praise the Lord. She has got a tremendous amount of determination and has changed so much since she got her forever family. I pray that the remainder of your time in China will be full of great memories and you will have a safe flight home.

  4. Oh do we ever love the pictures of the 2 beautiful sisters together! Absolutely precious!! So thankful for Irene's words that spoke to you and helped you through with some great attachment ideas. Great to hear the two of you are doing better together. Loved watching you doing the beads together. Keep up the great work together!
    Also, as far as Haddie having her grieving meltdown, that is such a healthy sign that she is dealing with it already. We all know it is going to take time to have her little heart healed and attached but God is going to continue to meld you together!

    We are so proud of you for the hard work you are doing in all of this. Also, so thankful for Grandma that she is able to be such a great help with especially Libi. She looks so old in the pics. Can't wait to see you all!!!

    LOve the Kindred Klan

  5. Thanks for the post Amy. REJOICING in the GREAT work that The Father has done in you and Haddie's relationship. We have all been praying for you and will continue to pray.

    You're right I think I would cry if I could see all those beautiful asian faces who are orphaned no more with families to call their own. A perfect picture of

    Psalm 68:6
    God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.

    Thank you for the updates. I anxiously and excitedly await each one.

    I love you sweet friend,

  6. Oh,the post that I have been praying for.... Thank You Jesus. Glory to God. So happy for you Mama :) Rejoicing with you. Praying for a negative TB test. I just loved the pictures of the girls in matching shirts. Seeing you guys on the see saw just brought me right back there. It must be so surreal being back there. It's such a special place. Fuzhou will not be the same without you guys. Much love to you and sweet Haddie. Covering you in prayer.

  7. Praise the Lord!! So glad to hear things are going well with sweet Haddie. I'm so excited you have had some precious time alone with her Amy and that she is learning that you can take care of her so well! I love your radio/dance time with her! What a fun mama!! You are like me, my friend, I tend to not think clearly when I am overwhelmed with emotion. So I'm so glad my notes were helpful to remind you of what I know you know, but maybe couldn't bring to mind. It really was a God thing....I felt very prompted to remind you of those things. And Brad, I'll gladly pay for the dress for sweet Haddie!! You betcha!! ;o)

    I love, love, love the pictures!!! I love the smiles and especially the pics of the sisters together, So beautiful!! Oh I cannot wait to see you all together in person!

    We will continue to lift you all up!! We love you so much!!

  8. The words that keep coming to my mind over and over is what an amazing gift! God has woven together such a beautiful Arnold family.

    What a joy to know that Amy has made some breakthroughs with Haddie! Remember that your journey with her is a marathon, not a sprint. YOu have a lifetime to show and teach her what God's love looks like. Oh how precious to know that she is already taking in good doses of that! We will continue to pray that every day she gets more and more comfortable with the family God has chosen for her.

    LOVE all the pictures!! Thank you so much for taking time to share with us. The ones of the girls in matching outfits are precious! And don't you just love that - "the girls". :)

    We continue to pray over you all. Can't wait until the calendar says Dec 22nd! :)

    We love you all a ton!!

  9. Love the pics!! Thanks for sending them our way. It is so exciting to hear how you and Haddie are bonding, and that Grandma and Brad can manage the rest of the brood. It's so evident that "love" is a universal language. Even though she can't understand love in your words (yet), she understands it in your eyes, in your embrace, in the way you run your fingers through her hair as she's grieving. Perfect love casts out fear. In Him there is perfect love, and you and Brad are giving her a huge dose of that love each and every day. One day, she will be able to fully understand God's love for her because of that.

    Praying for y'all!! xoxox love, Mel

  10. Oh Amy I am so excited to read that the bonding is going better. I love the pictures so much. I agree with the others, the pics of the two sisters is just priceless and I CANNOT believe how OLD Libi girl looks! Amazing.

    I will keep praying. I love you!

  11. Hey just wanted to tell you that Laynie came over to me this morning asking to see Haddie on my computer. She says it so clearly - her name, that is!! lol! She loves seeing the pictures - especially of Haddie with Libi. Both girls do. Malea keeps asking when you are bringing them over! I keep trying to explain you're not just a car ride away right now!! Wish you were. Love you! Praying all is going well.

  12. The girls are so cute in their matching outfits!!!! I'm so glad that things seem to be smoother everytime I check the blog!! Haddie is so precious and blessed to be with a great family!! How great of a picture of God picking us as orphans, taking us in when no one else would, and even though we may pull away and be hesitant sometimes, HE NEVER GIVES UP ON US, just as you have taken in Haddie to be molded into your family and loved on her when no one else would!!! Will be praying for your travels and the rest of your trip!!!!

    Sydney S.